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Purity;
At least she has that
Fearful
That she can only hide in shallow emotions
An overcoming sensation coursing through her body;
Who is she becoming?

Her fingers are trembling,
The chest is rising and falling rapidly,
To the point of desperation,
May the air cause light-headedness
But not death,
Just fear.

The eyes;
A strange appearance,
For they glaze,
The tears refuse to spill,

That magical flower just died in her clasp;
Surely, this is some form of symbolism of her life?
She yearns to spill it all out,
To open the gates,
Let the torrent of words explode,
A years worth of austere words,
Hidden secrets kept;
For one year.
For you
©2006-2009 ~zoeytalks
:iconzoeytalks:

Author's Comments

................................................................
feel obligated to comment on the quality of this piece, but not the sentimentality behind it
................................................................

Comments


love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconxgelidx:
I find this flows well and each line sets you up for the next, and the first and last line really stand out and i really like how it ends .... i dont know how to explain that ... like all the rest of this piece is building the walls then the inside is filled up with how it ends...
(lol I know what I mean, i just cant explain it)

The ending is powerful and rounds it up well, but at the same time leaves you wondering...

ahh hope i made some sense im still half asleep lol

well anyway i think its really good!:clap:

--
Danielle.c.Davis
:iconzoeytalks:
wow.. that was an awesome comment..
i think perhaps ur wall description thing comes about from i found it easier to write the last stanza... the others weren't as naturally flowing.
i understand perfectly.. so thanku buddy!!!

--
'As it seems to be accounted for, we will live gracefully and suddenly now. Goodnight.' - Anonymous
:iconbetkool:
wow that was a very emotional piece... or perhaps i can just empathise.
i like how it explores having a secret, not just one simple secrets but a whole complicated series... how these secrets are changing who she is... wow. love it :)

--
How you spend your days is, of course, how you spend your life.
:iconjessi-jean:
Ooh...i forgot how good you are!! Oh you set me up to strive for this level.
Fantabulous. I wish I had stuff to write about.
Good job...this is highly 'mysterious.'
Loving it lots. And lots. Not as much as chocolate (sorry)

~ Jess ~
:icontigereyelover:
OK, avoiding all romanticism, as requested, this is a very accomplished piece in all technical aspects.

It seems that every pair of lines work together to slowly build up an emotional image, each one adding fine detail to the overall tapestry until it climaxes in a perfectly executed imperfect cadence. An ending that doesn't truly end anything.

"That magical flower just died in her clasp;
Surely, this is some form of symbolism of her life?"

I especially like this part, nice work.

See, didn't get sentimental at all, quite an accomplishment for me, who get's slightly weepy at every good poem.
Or then again maybe i'm just a pretentious idiot with a flowery vocabulary. I don't know, hehe. Either way, great work.

--
All matter is simply energy condensed to a slow vibration and we are, therefore, one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. We create our own worlds, yet are shaped by our connections to one another, from our love to our hate. We are one.
:iconzoeytalks:
sweet that's awesome then!! i'm pleased that u like it then.

--
'As it seems to be accounted for, we will live gracefully and suddenly now. Goodnight.' - Anonymous
:iconzoeytalks:
haha.. thats a good call then.. thanks for the favs by the way.

--
'As it seems to be accounted for, we will live gracefully and suddenly now. Goodnight.' - Anonymous
:iconzoeytalks:
haha.. i really appreciate that comment... its massive as, and it didnt comment on any of the crappy stuff at all. fantastic!

--
'As it seems to be accounted for, we will live gracefully and suddenly now. Goodnight.' - Anonymous
:icontigereyelover:
Hehe, always a pleasure, never a chore m'lady. *low, sweeping bow*

--
All matter is simply energy condensed to a slow vibration and we are, therefore, one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. We create our own worlds, yet are shaped by our connections to one another, from our love to our hate. We are one.

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December 18, 2006
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